Editor’s Note: Sometimes, we post things anonymously. This is one of those times and you will quickly see why. In honor of Valentine’s Day …
I was reading an article floating around Facebook a couple weeks ago about the characteristics of happy relationships. Of course, things like having similar interests, political views, etc. were on the list. Not surprisingly, but often not discussed, was sex. Couples who have sex regularly are happier. Well, that sounds great but I’m tired, I have mystery goop on my shirt, I have dishes to do, the baby has been nursing all day, and the list goes on and on.
But making time for sexy time with your partner is beneficial and worth the effort.
I’m not going to lie, my husband’s and my sexual journey has had its ups and downs, periods of fun romping to droughts of no activity at all to steamy, breathless nights. But through our 18-year-plus-long relationship, we learned that a satisfying intimate relationship is really important to our overall happiness as couple, individuals, and parents.
But as my friends with new babies ask, when? When do you manage to get your freak on?
Are you someone who will only fool around in the dark? Give that up. First thing in the morning or a little afternoon delight might be the perfect time. Waiting until the kids are all asleep and the chores done will lead to two sleepy parents with lots of excuses. Did you fall asleep instead? Try the middle of the night…
The kids are always there, how can we get alone time? There is a good time for TV shows, video games, and iPads. Give the kids a special snack and a forbidden show and sneak upstairs (and lock the door). Ignore them as long as possible (pending real safety concerns, of course).
Put it on your calendar. Everyday seems a little unrealistic for most us but twice a week is the national average. Pick two days and do it! Remember that intimate time together doesn’t mean that you have to hit a home run every time but devoting time to each other at least twice a week is a great start.
So go and have some fun! It will be well worth the work!
Anonymous has been married for 18 years and counting.