By Emily Harrington
What’s the proper protocol on telling someone you’re pregnant? From my observations, there’s no right or wrong time, it’s all about what you and your husband are comfortable with.
Some decide to wait until they are out of the danger zone a.k.a. first trimester. But, three months! No way. How can you contain this information? I had a girlfriend practically disappear for three months until she felt comfortable telling us. It’s hard coming face-to-face with your friends and family while keeping this monumental of a secret.
Everyone has different ideas of when the best time to tell others is. But, I’ve worked out a six-phase information dissemination system perfect for the control freak mom-to be.
If you are thinking about becoming pregnant, I highly suggest having the idea of how you are going to tell the people in these different phases already planned out. Once you get the two lines, it’s hard to hold the information in, especially to those in phases one and two.
So, if you’ve got a plan in place on how you are going tell them, you can immediately share the news with your partner and parents and in-laws. Want to feel completely inadequate and like the anti-Martha Stewart? Look at Pinterest contributor’s ideas—these will make you wince and smile simultaneously.
1) Immediately—you find out your pregnant. Congrats! It’s time to tell your partner in a super-cute, memorable way (see Pinterest above). Whatever you choose to do, make it personal, make it special and make it just about the three of you.
2) Within the first week of finding out—now your partner knows, it’s time to tell your in-laws and parents. Bring tissues and ear plugs.
3) Within the first week of finding out—siblings. Everyone loves being an aunt and an uncle. They will be so happy they get to share in all the joy without any of the work.
You can count on those in phase two and three to trickle the information through the respective sides of the family tree. Watch out, because your phone will start trilling off the hook with congratulatory texts.
4) Week two of finding out—your inner circle will probably know that you’ve been trying and will be expecting that call. Typically, this is a circle of five to six around the same age as you and your partner. When they hear one of their close friends is pregnant, it prompts an inner response where they will begin to question their own stage in life.
- Am I married?
- In a serious relationship?
- Are kids in my future?
- Are we really old enough to be having kids?
Guys typically respond with, “Whoa, dude.” While girls shriek in excitement, “OMG, I’m so excited for you two!”
5) Month one of finding out—all friends. I suggest a friendly text, mass email or cute postcard. Be prepared. News travels fast is a very real saying. If there’s anyone you aren’t ready to find out, you may want to postpone this phase. There are no guarantees that this group won’t share information freely.
6) After the first trimester is complete—
- Boss—setup a one-on-one meeting with your direct report and let them know where you are in your pregnancy, due date and any known plans that would affect your job.
- Coworkers—after your boss knows, bring in cinnamon rolls for your office and tell them, “I’ve got a bun in the oven.”
- Facebook—if you are on Facebook and want everyone and their mom (literally) to know post away!
Again, I’m a control freak and this would be our information dissemination plan on how and when to tell everyone the monumental news. You get so few chances to spring an announcement of this magnitude on your friends and family—why not make it memorable.
It’s easy to get caught up in the, “What-ifs” too, but try to enjoy the moment and don’t think about what could happen. Celebrate each day—the more people that know, the bigger the party.
Emily Harrington is a 28-year-old townie on the cusp of full-blown adulthood. She’s a wife still in the honeymoon stage and a mom of a borderline psychotic mini-Australian Shepherd. She has a full-time job in communications/marketing and a full-time life outside of work.