Credit: jmlawlor, Flickr
By Emily Harrington
Outside of my own busy little bubble is an entire social media universe providing more things to do, more people to stalk, more articles to read, more recipes to make and more tidbits to absorb.
We are completely inundated by social media—including, but not limited to, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+ and my absolute favorite timewaster, Pinterest. Oh, dear Pinterest. You give me so many items to add to my mushrooming to-do lists—thank you.
My friends give me a lot of material to write and think about, but so does Pinterest. Often, I hear about something new, so I’ll research it further and see that I’m actually the last to know. This is exactly how I came to learn about the music phenomenon Dub step, the thousands of uses for chalkboard paint and an increasingly popular party concept—gender-reveal parties.
Don’t laugh.
A lot of my college girlfriends are from Chicago, so I’m not sure this has trickled down to C-U yet, but they are all the rage in the Windy City and surrounding suburbia. I have yet to be invited to one or heard of anyone throwing one in our area. Most people I know either have a strong aversion for them or think they are charming.
The concept is simple. When a pregnant woman and her partner have the sonogram that tells the sex of the baby, the ultrasound tech slips the sex of their baby into an envelope instead of telling the parents, “Congrats, it’s a ____.” The couple then takes the sealed envelope to a bakery where a cake is baked with either blue or pink batter. The thick layer of frosting conceals the color inside.
So, now you’ve got the baked goods— time to throw a party. You invite your friends and family over. There are a million ways to do it (per Pinterest) but my pal did a “Team Boy” and “Team Girl” theme.
Upon entering the party you pick what you thought the sex of the baby would be. When you slice into the cake in front of the guests—big moment—applause and cheers from the partygoers! The worst part is when you see a shadow fall upon one of the parents’ faces, as they were really hoping for the opposite of what the cake revealed.
In the world of Pampered Chefs, bridal and baby showers, cotillions, even first-period parties—do we need to add another item to our calendar? What’s next? Party in the delivery room?
Can’t there be some special, sacred moments just left between the mom and the dad—not with Facebook friends or Twitter followers or even friends and family? With so few surprises in life, isn’t this a moment you want to first cherish with the one that helped you create it?
Emily Harrington is a 28-year-old townie on the cusp of full-blown adulthood. She’s a wife still in the honeymoon stage and a mom of a borderline psychotic mini-Australian Shepherd. She has a full-time job in communications/marketing and a full-time life outside of work.
I can be a pretty live-out-loud person and why not share your a special moment in your life with your closest family and friends in a fun way? That said, this would not be for me, but my reason isn’t that there’s something too much about celebrating in this way with loved ones – its that I am over our obsession as a society with gender. The child isn’t even born yet and we’re playing pink vs blue games? Painting baby rooms in a “girly” way with pinks and flowers or a “boyish” way with blues and sport themes? Gender is far from the most important aspect of a person and its not rigidly tied to these societal standards.
I think it’s a fun way to tell other people, but I as the mother wouldnt want to find out that way. I made cupcakes with our 3rd and after we found out I filled them with blue icing to tell people we were having a boy. If the sonogram had been before a holiday I would have made them for the whole family, but I probably wouldn’t have had a party just for that.
I almost spat out my coffee–first period parties?!?? My mind is reeling…If you get a chance, do describe one for us; my imagination will be kicking it around a little too much until then.
Being pregnant with #3, I actually thought of doing the cake reveal. It’s unlikely we’ll have another, so why not celebrate full-tilt, was my reasoning. But you make a good point (I remember Amy Hatch broaching this subject also)–what if that batter isn’t the color you were hoping to see?
In the privacy of the sonogram room, if your heart shatters a bit, you can slowly, privately put those pieces back together. My guess is it doesn’t take most parents long to realize that boys and girls are both awesome blessings. But, I don’t know if I would want to publicly receive the news that it’s “the other” if I was hoping for one kind in particular.
Now that’s a topic I’d love to see you tackle: how “OK” is it to have a preference? I think we’re too afraid sometimes to admit when we’re rooting so hard for one gender or another for risk of sounding somehow awful–but is it really awful to have a preference?
Love your writing, as always.
Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t think the rest of the world cares enough about whether someone else is having a boy or a girl to turn this into a surprise party event. A party to reveal, ‘Surprise! We’re going to have a baby!” might be more interesting, though hard on the friends invited who might have infertility issues or just haven’t reached the point of having the special someone to have a baby with.
It’s not a nice thing for a child to know that you actually wanted a child of the opposite sex. Hoping for one sex is OK only so long as this isn’t passed on in any way to the child later on by the parents or by any unthinking friends who knew the parents’ preference and mention it to the kid later on, if he/she is the “wrong” sex.