By Amy L. Hatch
When I woke up to the news this morning of the tragic shootings in Aurora, Colo., my heart hurt.
Credit: 91st Customs™ 2012, Flickr
As it is with so many senseless acts of extreme violence, the massacre in a theater at a midnight showing of “Dark Knight Rises” came without warning. No one in that movie theater was prepared to be hunted down like an animal as they sat waiting for the film to begin. It’s the stuff of horror films.
One of the more disturbing reports out of Aurora is of a 3-month-old baby who was wounded by the insane gunman. And the most disturbing part is that people are rushing to judgment over why this baby was in a movie theater in the first place.
This is a perfect, awful example of how stupid we’ve become. Would I have taken my infant to see a midnight movie, one rated R? Probably not. But I do know I did some pretty crazy stuff when I was sleep deprived and desperate to feel like a human being again.
As someone sitting in the theater near that baby, I’d have tsk-tsked. I’d have rolled my eyes and muttered about “some people.” Sure. But to take that mom to task after she suffered through a terrifying, life-altering, never-to-be-forgotten moment of absolute horror?
Not OK. Worse than not OK. Worse than bringing an infant to a movie theater at midnight. Way worse. Let’s get some perspective, people.
I’ve said this so many ways and in so many different forums that I’m getting sick of hearing myself, but when the idiocy reaches new and dizzying heights I just have to say it again, as loudly as I can.
You do not know what is happening inside another person’s head. You do not know what their life is like. You do not know what the topography of their hearts looks like. The anonymity of the Internet does not give you license to hurt people who are already hurting with your words.
Today there are parents, siblings, grandparents, friends, children, aunts and uncles in stunned mourning because an obviously crazy person decided to go ahead and kill their loved ones for sport. Focusing even for one millisecond on a parental, personal decision that will likely haunt a mother and father for the rest of their natural lives is petty and mean.
Instead of sitting around nattering about it, how about everyone just go hug the people they love and remember that your life can be forever altered in a split second. That’s what I’m going to do.
I stopped after work for a haircut. Thar’s all everyone was talking about – the stupidity of the young mother. No one mentioned the insanity of the shooter or the other victim’s welfare. As I sat and listened it appeared, at least to me, that the anger and outrage at this woman was simpler to focus on than the depravity and horror of the event itself. Which is incomprehensible. I can’t imagine what grief this mother is feeling and I pray this does not become the focus of this tragedy.
Thank you. I took my now five year old to a midnight premier (granted it was harry potter) when he was weeks old. He slept through all but 20 minutes of the movie when he woke up to eat. Nursing mothers either wait for dvd (so hard) or can’t go. People need to keep their judgments to themselves
Oh boo hoo. Nursing moms can pump if they want a night out. This mom and dad who took two little kids to a midnight movie deserve to have those kids removed from their care and given to someone who can afford a sitter if they want a night out. You are right, I don’t understand parents who can’t give their children an acceptable standard of care. The biological ability to create a baby does not qualify one to be a parent. And now somewhere in Aurora there are two parents regretting their decision, because their child died needlessly. And two more parents who put two children at risk because they did not or could not or would not pay a sitter. That’s just shameful.
Seriously? A child should be taken from their parents because they took them to see a movie at midnight? Because the parents should have expected someone to come in and start shooting at them… I bet everyone who went to see the movie there regretted their decision. Just because you do not agree with their decision to take their children to the movie does not mean they are bad parents.
Honestly, for a three month old there is usually no day or night, just 2-4 hour cycles of eating, sleeping, etc. My son was as awake and active at midnight as he was at noon when he was three months old! I’ve often wished that we had used that time to go to a midnight movie or the drive-in, when he would sleep or at least rest, and could be held. Can’t believe that other people would pass judgment at a time like this!
Sorry, but I think wondering why anyone would take their tiny children to a midnight premiere is a pretty normal reaction. I know I did when the networks tried to turn this couple’s experience into a human interest story to add depth to their non-stop coverage of this story. (Last word was the mother had shrapnel injuries to her legs.No injuries were reported to the children. Oh, and the father proposed to the mother and she said yes, The news is nattering more than anyone else and keeping the story active.) I don’t think anyone is trying to elevate the decision to take kids to a midnight showing to the actions of the gunman, but little is known about the gunman and everyone has an opinion about finding a baby at a movie intended for adults. I have no plans to gossip about this story or second think the parents. I will be too busy NOT turning the news on until this story runs its course. My kids need their sleep, and I would prefer it to be free of movie theater nightmares.
Amy, Dark Knight is rated PG-13 (not R), but I truly applaud the meat of your post. I have said this same thing so many times on Twitter today, I have probably lost a few friends. I am guilty of taking my babies to movies — yes, I am. There’s a very old saying: Don’t criticize a man until you’ve walked a mile in his shoes. I think that goes double, triple, a hundred times more for MOMS. Thank you again, Amy. You’re a brave lady. My shero!
Yes, it is fine to take a baby to a movie. A baby in a midnight showing of a very loud, violent film–not appropriate in most peoples opinions. I think this might be looked at a little differently (as a friend pointed out to me today) if this was a romantic drama with dialogue, not loud guns and action during the film. Let’s face it, movies aren’t known to be quiet, especially during action scenes, which is what this movie was. I don’t think anyone was really judging anyone (unless they came out and said it) but simply using it as a talking point. Everyone is searching for answers as to why this would happen and thinking that it didn’t have to happen to a child, or anyone for that matter. To say that this was a simple act of just trying to get out of the house, seems odd to me. The movie is still showing at 10am today, 4pm today and 7pm today, and many other times other than midnight.
So while I am not berating anyone, to each their own. Take your baby to a midnight showing all you would like. It just isn’t something I would do, and I have a right to state my opinion. It isn’t a personal attack on anyone. Live your life how you choose, raise your children how you choose. It’s just like the debate over breast feeding or not, spanking or not, etc. Everyone has their own opinion on what they would do and simply stating what I would do or not do doesn’t make me a bad person or a judging person.
This was a senseless tragedy, yes, and we should be focused on how awful it is for anyone to be hurt. I am sad for this Mom and her family. I am praying for everyone involved, no matter what I might think of why they were in a midnight showing.
You have said exactly what I was thinking.
This happens a lot though, people usually start off by blaming the victim(s) in many crimes. There are usually things that we think of we could have done different when tragedy strikes, but it doesn’t change the fact that no one would have been injured if that person didn’t come into the movie theater and shoot at them.
I can understand why people would debate the topic of taking young children to movies, it has been debated before and I’m sure will be time and time again. But I agree it is definitely a very minor thing amongst this tragedy.
I think these are two completely separate issues..no one should be blaming these parents for what happened. However, yes; there are very defined guidelines for parenting. The needs of a small child require them to be in bed sleeping at a reasonable hour. A 4 or 6 year old child should not be out anywhere at midnight let alone at a loud and voilent movie that doesn’t end until after 2 a.m. Of course I do not agree that these children should be taken away from their parents. I also don’t think it is about getting a sitter or not. If it is that important to see the movie and bring your children, there are plenty of other movie times besides midnight. One basic rule of parenting which should not be argued is that the needs and welfare of your child should always come first.
They also had a five year old with them as well. Nobody deserves this but seriously, find a sitter.
So! is there now a hand book that states what a parent can and can not do with their children?. I see nothing wrong with any parent wanting to take their child to a movie at midnight. Don’t we have bigger & better things to worry about then blame other parents for taking their child to a midnight movie? I agree with the others who said “no one knew a shooter was going to be there shooting up the theater.” This does not constitute child abuse, it was a movie! I’m so happy for the parents who can afford paying a baby sitter for late night dates and anything else they can afford and I’m happy for the people who have the athority to judge others. Just remember one day you will mess up and their will be others to judge you and you will be the one saying “you haven’t walked in my shoes, how dare you judge me!” Just saying!
I’ve worked for years at a local movie theater. Back in 2000, there was a riot during Next Friday over movie seats. People came out covered in blood (and this was in Champaign)! So, no, I would never take a child, yet alone an infant, to a movie especially one as hectic as the Dark Knight. And those action films? They can reach up to 95 decibels, far above what is considered safe for anyone let alone an infant and small child.
Should these parents’ have taken a moment to consider the safety and well being of their children? Yes. Did they? No. Did they deserve to be shot at? Absolutely not.
i totally agree with you! People keep saying that not everybody can afford a sitter. If you can afford movie tickets, you can afford a sitter. I have witnessed parents bringing their children to see graphic horror movies. When you become a parent, sometimes you need to put your wants on hold. Put your kids to bed and see the movie another time. I can’t believe people think bringing two little kids to a violent movie at midnight is acceptable. Take the shooting out of the the issue here. Of course they didn’t know that would happen. That’s not the point!
I just “can not” believe how tiny minded people can be! All this bad mouthing over parents taking their children to the movies at midnight when the bigger picture here is some 24 year old made a decision to go into said theater and kill anyone and everyone, and also booby trapped his own apartment to kill more innocent people. That’s The Point Here!!!
I feel terrible for these parents. I think taking your small child to a midnight showing of an action movie is a poor choice generally (especially with the thought about noise level), but the appropriate punishment for that bad choice is a cranky kid the next day!!! (Or in the case of the baby, some mild hearing loss, which is unfortunate but not DCFS-worthy.) It’s like not washing your kid’s hands when you should have, and having him end up in the hospital because he happened to be unlucky enough to pick up some terrible bug–when thousands of other people do the same thing with no consequence.
What is wrong with you people? Why on earth would it be a problem for a mother to take a baby to a movie? Get over yourselves. I guess that mother shoudln’t take her baby to the grocery store either because someone might bring a gun into the store.