By Jennifer Newell
#10: It’s not always easy getting pregnant and it’s not always wonderful being pregnant. I think that Hollywood shows a glamorized view of pregnancy and the journey getting there. It doesn’t show the calendars, thermometers, ovulation kits, pregnancy tests and fertility message boards that most people spend hours/money on. Then, once you get pregnant- not many people go into detail on the vomiting, constipation, heart burn, fatigue, insomnia and inability to fit in/feel comfortable in any clothes besides sweatpants.
#9: Labor WILL NOT go as planned (and you will poop on the table).
#8: You can prepare, read and ask everyone their advice…but it will take trial and error to figure out your own child. Then, when you have a second one- you must do it all over again.
No. 4: Some days you may not shower. Photo by Niffty on flickr
#7: Your husband will still want to have sex with you. Even after you’ve nursed a baby 20 times, stayed up half the night with a toddler who has night terrors, cleaned the house and done the laundry. He’s not trying to put more on your “to-do” list- he just really thinks you’re hot.
#6: You may not know if you want to be a stay-at-home mom or a working mom and will have guilt either way. There can be peace with your decision, but it is a balancing act you will forever be in.
#5: Suddenly conversations revolve around poop, timeouts vs. spanking, schedules, napping, preschools, pediatricians and when are you going to have your next child.
#4: Some days you may not shower.
#3: You are not alone. There will be days where you feel like you are the only mom who has felt this way or your kid is the only kid who has ever thrown such a big fit, BUT…you aren’t. All of us have been there and we need to continue to be there to encourage each other along the way. (Side note- great reason to read chambanamoms.com J)
#2: You will make mistakes. I think that this has been the hardest part in parenting for me. I want to do it all, control it all and do it perfectly and with kids it just doesn’t work that way. I’m sure I’m perfect for them (I know they are perfect for me), but every day I’m trying to perfect my parenting.
And the #1 thing I wish I would have known before I was a mom…is that one child, just one, will make you a better person and that better person has undeniably the greatest and most honorable responsibility in the world – mothering a child.
Got something to add? We’d love to hear #11, 12 and more in the comments below.
Jennifer Newell. Photo by Sweet Pea Photography
A Savoy resident and mom of two, Jennifer Newell is the owner of chambanamoms.com partner Bella Bambini, a unique children’s boutique located at 1422 S. Neil St. in Champaign. Newell also blogs on the Bella Bambini website.
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I’d have to add a quote I read from a Michael Cunningham book, that seems to apply to parenting [especially being a parent of teens]. “Having children gives you a lifelong acquaintance with fear.” Of course, that’s not the greatest percentage of all of the emotions, but it does resonate with me.
-You never thought you’d be so excited to see a toddler poop in the potty (or ever thought you’d be saying that)
-You didn’t realize how ridiculous you sounded when you said “I’m so busy” before you had kids.
-Your husband does not get a magical “now I know what to do” fairy dusting just because you went into labor.
These may not apply to every mom, but what’s surprised me…
Your hair will fall out. I wasn’t bald as a cue ball, but after I stopped breastfeeding, I had massive hair loss and a receding hair line. I knew to expect it the 2nd and 3rd time, but it’s still depressing as all heck. The good news is that apart from my hairdresser, no one else seemed to notice.
I can’t watch movies anymore where children are scared or in any kind of danger.
I can now cry on command since all I have to think about are the littlest things my kids have done (or have outgrown and will never do again) and I start to bawl. I am tearing up right now, just thinking about thinking about it!
You may or may not be able to breastfeed. And either way, you’re still a really, really good mom.
No matter how old they get, grown men are still little boys who can’t aim.
As a human mom to a canine child, and also a “mom” who most likely will not have children, I have to disagree with item #1 in the list. I don’t think being a mother with children is THE most honorable responsibility. I think anyone who is a caretaker of kids, dogs and/or parents, has their work cut out for them and will be just as honored in their personal growth.
My mantra: Anyone who consistently deals with poop, vomit and/or blood that is not their own, is a MOM!
Word, Stephanie!
So very true Jennifer! I love all the comments too-
No one ever told me that adding two kids to a marriage more than doubles the laundry pile.
When your baby is born and you hold them for the first time, you may not feel that instant, overwhelming, firework-like explosion of connection that everyone says you will. You will definitely love them, but it might take some time to get to know this tiny being as a person living outside of your body before you feel that deep connection to your child. Nobody told me this and I felt like a failure.
First Time Mom – I felt the same way. I also felt like a failure – until my wonderful mom told me she didn’t have the immediate connection either.
Something else I was never told – Even if you get back to your pre-baby weight, you will still have uncomfortable, saggy skin on your belly!
I think the main thing is that you can’t imagine how your life will change once you have a baby. Nothing prepares you for what it is really like to put someone ahead of yourself all the time, even for the most basic things. Suddenly you can’t eat, sleep, or even use the bathroom when you want to — you have to do it when you can. Big difference. Then add a healthy dose of sleep deprivation or a little colic, and you have a real “adjustment period.”
You will shock yourself by the things you say. You will channel your mother, and you will say ridiculous things, often in response to things your children say. (Write the best of these down, because you will never remember them, even if you think you will.)
You can parent according the all the experts, but you can only do so much to affect the personality of your child. Your baby is a real person, and will have her own opinions about almost everything, which she will eventually enthusiastically share with you. It isn’t like an experiment, where if you do A, then B will occur. You do your best, and you carry on.
> No matter how old they get, grown men are still little boys who can’t aim.
Ahhh… I can see how that would make getting preggers difficult! I suggest better breeding stock: MY aim is DOBA!
On a more serious note, feeling like chucking your newborn who has gotten up every hour during the night out the window is normal. Actually doing it, OTOH…
That teenagers are not so bad.
You suddenly remember everything you ever said to your mom and/or dad and realize how much you broke their hearts at times. And that at some time this little beautiful thing is going to do the same thing to you and say some things to you that will break your heart. You have never known a love like this until you hold that first baby in your arms.