Trying to conceive for 17 consecutive months really blows. I don’t know of any better way to pen that sentiment.
With each unsuccessful cycle, I find myself more and more stressed. Before you suggest it — I already practice Yoga and Pilates. I take deep breaths — lots of them. Last cycle, I even tried acupuncture. And, what do you know?? I was still uptight. I think it comes with the infertility territory.
I know I need to chillax. But, the only way for me to completely rid myself of this tension is by jumping off the trying-to-conceive-train. So, that’s what I’m doing.
That’s right, you heard me. We’re giving the baby-making a rest for one cycle. No doctors, blood tests, pills, injections, sonograms or suppositories. And, we’re using condoms. I don’t even want to think about getting preggers until after Independence Day.
Lately, I’ve been looking for the silver lining in infertility. And, I can’t find it. So, for the next few weeks I’m looking for the positives in NOT trying to conceive. Don’t get me wrong — I’d rather have a little baby in my belly than a big piece of Brie. But, for now I am enjoying some NBMB (non-baby-making-behavior).
Last weekend I watched Steel Magnolias and Fried Green Tomatoes – two of my favorite movies. They’ve been on cable non-stop lately. So, instead of torturing myself with episodes of A Baby Story and Bringing Home Baby I rewarded myself with these chick-flicks. Towaaaandaa!
Plus, Sex in the City 2 comes out this weekend. I will be there — with buttered popcorn and a caffeinated Pepsi.
Pass the cosmos, Wannabe Mom.
Speaking of drinks I don’t order while trying to conceive — I’m drinking anything I want all month. Coffee? Champagne? I’ll take one of each please and I may wash it down with a margarita on the rocks.
I’m eating sushi again. Fresh fish and a little Sake taste like heaven. I hadn’t been eating much raw-anything for the last 17 months. Toro, how I’ve missed you.
I’m getting a kick out of shopping for items I really don’t need at Target instead of blowing my wad on home pregnancy tests. This weekend I picked up a cool Fedora that I’ll probably never wear AND a bikini. Three cheers for NO baby-bump this swim-season! And, for making it out of there for less than $100. That NEVER happens.
Soft cheeses! Soft cheeses! Soft cheeses! Feta, Brie, Camembert, Blue — come to Mama (well, Wannabe Mama)! This month, I’m eating all I want without worrying about listeria.
I’m shaking my hairs and my hips to the new Rolling Stones album. It came out last week and it rocks. I’ve been blasting it through my house and dancing around barefoot (and not pregnant!) with my Hubby.
Don’t worry. I’m still the Wannabe Mom. I see the irony in hopping off the train to motherhood. But, I was getting motion-sick.
Sometimes a girl just wants to eat cheese, drink some bubbly and dance with her husband. I appreciate you giving me the much-needed break. When my hubby kissed me goodnight last night he whispered, “I missed you. I’m so glad you’re back”. And, therein lies the shiniest of silver linings.
The Wannabe Mom has been trying to conceive for more than a year and was recently diagnosed with unexplained infertility. She and her husband live and work in Champaign, and they desperately want to drive a Toyota Sienna minivan someday. We’ll be following her journey, so buckle up and get ready to cry with her — and cheer her on, too.
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I LOVED this post!! So awesome! You needed a break! And, way to think on the positive side of not being pregnant! I’m sure it is the most difficult thing to deal with, but you will get there! Maybe this is what your body needs right now!
An answer from an expert! Thanks for contrbtiuing.
GOOD FOR YOU!!!!!!! I have been following your blog, and I am PROUD of you! Not only do you put your story down on paper(or a computer screen), which is hard enough, but you share that with the world. Some will say, well but its anonomous so it can’t be that hard, but it is! You are strong, brave, and deserve to have fun and just be yourself. I hope everything in life that you want comes to you. NOt all of it will, but a girl can only hope, right?!?
I heard a story once of a couple that had been trying to conceive and finally gave up completely. They took the baby money they had saved and went on a vacation to Paris. Guess what happened?
Good for you! Enjoy your summer!
I’d continue on in this mode…except forget the condoms!
This is probably the best thing you could do for you and your hubby! Get the focus off the baby-making, relax and enjoy. My hubby and I tried for 22 months and finally conceived our sweet daughter (who’s now 3). Waited until she turned one. Tried for #2 for 20 months. Conceived. Miscarried at 9 weeks. Then conceived again in the FIRST cycle after the miscarriage. Go figure! Then, I had emergency surgery for an ectopic pregnancy at 6 weeks.
I know it stinks. I’ve been on the expecting-wanting-hoping-to-have-a-positive-pregnancy-test for MANY months over the past five years or so. I know the frustration and disappointment of a negative one all too well. But there’s no doubt a purpose, if not more than one, in the waiting. Hang in there. I’ve learned (and continue to learn) a ton about myself through it. I came to the conclusion that I might as well not focus on baby baby baby because it doesn’t help anything as far as conception goes! I try my best to trust that God’s plan is so much bigger and better than mine, whatever that is.
Anyway, enjoy your time “off.” And, I agree with Mel above…forget the condoms.
I’m wondering if you’ve considered adoption? There are so many kids out there that need a home. I bet you have a wonderful home, and you’re obviously wanting to share it!
We conceived while taking a month off, and our nurse told us we were far from the first who had this experience. We went on vacation, which helped us get away from the “today is day 14″ mode. Relax, enjoy, and don’t worry too much about what you’re eating and drinking. Generations of people were conceived by women who paid far less attention than we currently do to what they ate, yet they managed to thrive.
Enjoy the time off and finding the girl you are again. Infertility is a marathon for many not a sprint and our “training” for said marathon is drinking, eating, and loving ourselves silly during those time outs.
And Liza – anyone and everyone who walks the painful path of infertility ALWAYS considers adoption. Adoption is not easy nor is it any less inexpensive or faster. In fact in many ways it’s harder.