Prairie storms in the summer? Yep, hate 'em. (Photo by Amy L. Hatch)
By Amy L. Hatch
Hi, my name is Amy, and I used to be a hater.
That is to say, for the first 24 months of This Chambanan Life, I hated living here. And when I say “hate” I mean: “Wow, I hate this place with the heat of 1,000 suns, how can I get us the hell out of here as soon as humanly possible?”
The flatness. The corn, which makes my nose itch. The blinding sun in the summer months and the relentless ice/rain/snow three-punch combo in the winter. Even the grocery stores got under my skin. After yet another trip to yet another retailer for a specific item that couldn’t be purchased at our regular grocery place, I would turn to my husband and give him the hairy eyeball.
“How long? I demanded.
How long, indeed.
Now we are in our fourth academic year here in Urbana, and my hatred has changed. Has it disappeared? No way.
There’s plenty for me to hate here in Chambana, but there is a singular difference in the quality of my animosity: I don’t despise this place simply for being itself. I no longer believe that Champaign-Urbana and its surrounding towns and cities exist solely for the purpose of antagonizing me.
No.
The things I hate about Chambana are borne out of a reluctant affection, an ownership of sorts. I had very similar feelings about Rochester, where I railed against the stupidity of city leaders and expressed my outrage over how they failed to show off what made our city so special.
My hatred for Chambana (and Rochester, for that matter) is more like that of an angry and disillusioned lover — the intensity of the emotion stems from a sense of ownership and, dare I say it?
Love.
So I guess I am still a hater — but a reformed one, of sorts. Chambana, I hate you — and I say that because I care.
No related posts.
I get that many people don’t enjoy U-C, mostly because of the weather and the flatness, but what I don’t get here is if you are over hating U-C for its weather and topography, what is it you are still hating? That and why? That would be interesting, especially since you allude to their being things you love about the area you feel civic leaders are not adequately playing up.
That’s a very good point, Jacqueline. I guess what I mean is that I feel invested in the community now. For instance, why can’t all the bridges in town be as nice as the one on 1-57? Why can’t we show off what is pretty here in CU by creating nicer entry points on 1-74? Why does Philo Road have to look like such a mess?
That kind of stuff — the stuff that you can only get peeved about if it matters to you.
Amy, there isn’t the money in this community to fund beautification projects in the face of our public schools and municipalities failing. Philo Road looks a mess because the area is economically depressed. Political will to enact change is at a low ebb. The state is BROKE.
Those are the kinds of things I am worried about. Then again, I am here for the long haul.
I beg to differ with you on this point. That interchange looks nicer because it is new.
I would object to funds being put forth to beautify the other interstate exchanges when there are much more pressing matters in this community.
If you are up to speed with the local news you would see that our community currently faces a huge deficit when it comes to the public schools.
Do I want pretty entry points to our town or do I want children to have good schooling? Children with special needs or delayed reading abilities need the resources to help them excel to the best of their abilities. Children need access to band and strings in elementary school because learning music will carry over into other areas of their lives. Don’t even get me started on the lack of funding for school nurses. The list of proposed budget cuts is deep.
Not to mention that the university that provides employment either directly or indirectly for a large percentage of this community faces major cutbacks from state funding. Many employees are being forced to take furlough days or a reduction in pay. It is taking months to get reimbursed for dental work. Many people in this community are currently in fear of losing their jobs.
These are the things that matter to me.
See, my husband and I met here at the Newman Center at the University and we LOVE this town! Always have, always will. I grew up on the South side of Chicago and he is from a small Southern IL town. This is such a perfect mesh for us. Now that we have children, there is even more for us to love in Chambana….sooo many wonderful opportunities for children and families (many are free or low-cost too!). It’s got a comfy smaller-town feel with many “city” amenities/opportunities due to the University presence. While I do understand why others may not be thrilled with this place, I could never hate this town. It’s cozy, full of passionate people and it’s home.
Welcome, neighbor!
I admire Amy for being honest about her feelings. It is hard to be the newcomer and having ready Amy’s earlier posts about how she came to Chambana during such a difficult period during her life, I imagine that her vision was clouded. However, I also have read her beautiful writing about she will miss Chambana when she leaves.
Amy, what I admire about this post is your willingness to embrace complexity. Do we ever absolutely love or hate any one place?
It’s similar (but different, of course) to the complexity of feelings people have toward their siblings, spouses, or even their children. There’s that deep “love” emotion, layered with a “but I don’t always like you” reality. I think that reality makes the love more real, it doesn’t diminish it.
When I moved here I was very unhappy, as well, due more to life circumstances than the town itself. Now, eight years later, I can honestly say I love living here and raising my kids here–even if there are things about the place that I don’t always like.