From There to Here: Happy Accidents

Henry and Emmie share a rare cuddle. Photo by Amy L. Hatch

By Amy L. Hatch

Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans – John Lennon

We’d been talking about having children — or rather talking around the issue — for several months when I discovered I was pregnant with our first child, Emmeline.

It was just after my father was diagnosed with terminal metastatic colon cancer, and we’d come out of a very stressful period of getting married, dealing with illness (mine and my dad’s) and were grappling with the emotional aftermath of a last-ditch attempt to save my dad’s life through surgery.

It was April, just after our second anniversary. I’d been queasy for weeks, not to mention moody and exhausted. But it was still a surprise — we never actually came to an agreement on just when the right time would be for us to start having babies.

I looked at the two lines on the pregnancy test, and then I looked at Channing.

“We’re a family,” I said, incredulous.

***

Having kids is a big leap for two cautious people to take. I look back at that time now and laugh a little, knowing that if some other force hadn’t brought Emmie into our lives that we would still be talking about it.

The bottom line is that there just isn’t the perfect time to start a family. There’s always something that can be listed in the “con” category: Not enough money, not enough time, career … you name it, we came up with it.

Instead, we were offered a gift. I was five months pregnant when my father passed away in August 2004. Emmie had just begun to flip and kick when we lost him, and feeling that life so close to my metaphorical and physical heart was balm for a grieving spirit.

***

Last night, we took Emmie to see “The Princess and The Frog.” It was a date — just the three of us. Henry stayed behind with our trusted sitter. We put her in between us at the movie theater, and I watched her kick her feet in time with the music.

During the scary parts, she buried her face in Channing’s arm or grabbed my hand to cover her eyes. The movie was great, but I had a hard time tearing my eyes away from my daughter’s face.

I won’t tell you who it is, but one of the characters in the movie dies, and a funeral is held. As the movie depicts the soul moving heavenward, I thought about my dad. I thought about all the happy accidents that have happened in my life since that dreadful day.

Of all the serendipitous events in my life –  and yes, even moving to Chambana is included on that list — her conception is the one over which I linger the most.

Having one child made me crave another, and so now we have Henry. Henry was a planned child, but no less of a surprise. Both of our children are such fascinating little people, with curiosities and ideas that constantly keep their parents’ minds moving and alert.

When I think back on that day when I held a pregnancy test in my hands for the first time, I thank my lucky stars that the decision was taken out of my hands and made for me.

Did you plan your family, or were your kids a surprise?

Amy L. Hatch is a co-founder of chambanamoms.com, and she actually hates being pregnant. She writes “From There to Here,” a column about being a Northeastern girl on the prairie, on Tuesdays. You can reach her at amy@chambanamoms.com.

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